Definition of Self Love

If you’ve been looking for the definition of self love, and haven’t been able to make sense of it, you have come to the right place!

Be prepared to be amazed.

Researching the definition of self love, you likely have come upon umpteen numbers of articles associating self love with self-esteem and self-confidence, Likely you will agree, there is undoubtedly a direct correlation, but were those articles what you were looking for?

Self-esteem and self-confidence do not speak to me of the essence of self love. From my perspective, they are symptoms of self love.

For example, if you have a cold, you may have a runny nose and a cough. They are symptoms of your cold and if you fix them your cold will get better. Similarly, self-esteem and self-confidence are symptoms of love, and if you fix them your self love will get better, but they are not definitions of self love.

Googling ‘self-love definition’ yielded the following results from Oxford Languages and Merriam-Webster:

The definition of Self-Love is likely different for each of us, which is how it should be. I found that these definitions didn’t quite hit the mark for me, so I came up with my own definition.

One lady’s definition of Self-Love:

Self-Love: Being utterly and completely amazed at the beautiful bright light that shines within you; the essence of that which is you; you in your truest, most explicit and expressive forms; being the YOUnique being that you are; Bee’nYOUnique and relishing in that; an affair with yourself (my favorite); belief in you

Being amazed at that beautiful bright light that shines within you.
Acknowledging the special essence of you that completely amazes you
Being blown away by the beauty of your essence.
The knowledge that you are the only you. Not one person on this big round planet of ours is anything like you.
Comprehending that, literally, you are special, and accepting that.
Doing what is right for you.
Shining how you shine. Forget everything everyone is telling you to do, be, learn, practice. It’s not about them. How can you ever be the you that you are if you let others tell you what that is?
Cherishing your beauty. Accepting it is not for anyone else to judge. Your beauty is for you to define and cherish.
Seeing that there are no imperfections. Everything about you is perfectly you. Your imperfections are perfect for you.
There is only your self love. No good or bad; right or wrong; better or worse. There is no comparison to others or how you rank against others. There is just you, and an appreciation and love, of who you are.
It is not selfish.
Believe in yourself.

8 Ways to Love Yourself

My lucky number is 8. Here are 8 ways to love yourself.

Through Your Eyes

See yourself through your eyes. The eyes of love and awe; not the eyes of judgement.

Rather than allowing your mind to collect a list of all the things you are not, take it to the list of all the things you are. Think of all the little gems that encompass the best version of you, the authentic you.

Let this be a celebration of you.

Start a love journal.
Write down all the wonderful things you are. Don’t be bashful, be proud.
Celebrate the wonders of you.
Review your love journal often. Keep it in a place you can easily refer back to.
Add to it when you are feeling amazingly wonderful.
Read it every time you don’t feel amazing, to remind yourself of your awesomeness.

The Eyes of Others

Let’s talk symptoms. Particularly self-esteem. This pops up for me at regular intervals. As they say – the struggle is real.

To help improve my low self-esteem, I’ve come up with something that really helps me in a positive way and I would like to share it with you.

I started to appreciate the way others see me and I started to accept their kind words.

How, you ask?

It happened by chance. One day I was cleaning out an old desk. There were all these cards and notes, and I wondered why the heck I was saving them. Some simply said: Happy Birthday or Congratulations. But others included heartfelt notes. Notes that told me how special I was, or how inspiring I was. As I went through the pile, my heart was so full that it started leaking out of my eyes. All of these wonderful words, about me!

I selectively took the cards and notes that were the most meaningful and put them in a special place. From that day forward, I began to save the notes and cards in which others communicated by written word, or via drawings (from children) that acknowledged special things about me.

As this pile grew, I needed a place to keep these things, so I created a chest. I call it my ‘Love Chest’. Whenever I feel down, I go to my special ‘Love Chest’ and remind myself of how special I am.

Make a Love Chest. Decorate it.
Start your Love Chest with a picture of yourself. Make it a picture that means something to you. When you look at the picture, does it shine back your inner glow to you? Do you see the wonderful, special you in that picture?
Begin collecting love notes, poems, cards as you receive them.
Write yourself a love note and put it in your Love Chest.
Write your definition of self love and put it in your Love Chest.

Celebrate Yourself

All your wins, big or small, whatever they are to you, celebrate them. Your mind, your imagination, your creativity are incredibly awesome. Celebrate them.

I’m a yes girl. You need help, yes. You want me to come to dinner, yes. Need a donation, yes. Yes, yes, yes.

One day I said No. I sat back and smiled, thinking, wow! I just did that! And it felt good. I sat for a moment in appreciation of myself. I almost wanted to have a glass of wine to toast myself, but settled for water, it was still working hours.

What goals have you been working towards?
What are the little things that matter along your journey to achievement?
Reward yourself, for even the smallest of steps, for every step matters on your journey.

Unblock Your Love

Love yourself enough to forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, whatever your mistake was, or whatever is making you feel bad, find your way to let it go. Start the work today. See a professional if you need to. Whatever you feel you need to forgive yourself for, you need to work towards the point of forgiveness. For if you don’t, that cloud will never move away. It’s blocking the inner light of your love.

This is not an easy one. A boatload of self reflection could be needed here, depending on what you are letting go. Love yourself enough to unburden this weight.
Forgive the past and look towards the future. We cannot change what has happened, we can only move forward into new space. Don’t let it pull you back, for each moment it does is another moment without the glow of your full inner light.
Professional help was the best gift I ever gave myself. Seek it if you need to.

Honor Your Heart

You need your full heart to be with you. Be true in your life. If you feel you are not honoring your heart, find your way back.

What is in your way? Figure out how to move past that. You need your whole heart present in this journey. Love yourself enough to open it up.

Ask yourself these questions:

What parts of my life are not genuine to me?
Which pieces of my life are not serving me?
Do I feel robotic and disingenuous about anything in my life?
How do I let go, move on or change the situation so that I honor all that is true and genuine for me?

Ways to move forward:

Identify 1 part of your life that is no longer serving you.
Make a list of all the ways you can address and change that part of your life.
Determine, from your list, which would be the first step.
Take that step.

Repeat the process.

Date Yourself

When was the last time you took a minute to be with yourself? What was the last thing you did alone that allowed you to feel relaxed and peaceful with yourself, without any outside ‘noise’?

Take yourself to where you want to be.

There’s a hammock in my backyard. I can see it from my desk, where I work, and I think of it all the time. I can visualize myself in the hammock with a pillow, blanket, table next to me with a nice hot cup o’ Jo. I’m nestled in, book in hand, one foot hanging over so I can give a gently push when needed. I read, I fall into a nap, I read some more.

This is a date for me, because as much as I see this image every time I look at the hammock, I never actually do it. So I will set a date to take myself there.

What does your date with yourself would look like?
Where will you take yourself?
What will you indulge in?
How will your date show yourself some love?
Go on your date.

Surround yourself

Surround yourself with things that make you feel good about yourself.

Create a space that is loving and supporting to you.

Pictures that remind you of a loving day, pictures of people that make you feel most loved, special and cared for. Items on shelves, sayings hung on a wall, that evoke the feeling of love for you. Visual reminders that you love are loved.

Take a walk through all the rooms in your home.
Inventory which items really speak to you, and which ones do not.
Consider what you need to remove.
Remove those items and replace them with intention.
Select items that send a message of love to you.

Hug yourself

You can do this in a literal way, or you can do this in a systemic way. Show your body how much you love it. A bubble bath, an hour stretching or lounging, a heating pad on your back or stomach, scheduling the annual physicals you’ve been putting off. Show your body some love.

Sit in silence for a few minutes. If you practice meditation, meditate. If you do not, just sit for a moment in silence.
Complete a body scan. From head down to your toes, as though you were a machine, scan down. Stop at each point that triggers something for you. Pain, discomfort or just lack of attention. Make note of it.
After your scan, select the areas you wish to work on.
Consider how you can best address those areas.
Come up with an action plan and follow it.

This blog post has been about One Lady’s Definition of Self Love. I hope, after reading, you feel a stronger connection to your self love. You are amazing, YOUnique and beeYOUtifully PERFECT.

Peace & Love,

Lorraine

One Lady’s Definition of Self Love

Definition of Self Love

One lady’s definition of Self-Love: