What does it even mean to be the best version of yourself? Which version are you now? Who defines when you’ve achieved the ‘best’ one? How will you know it’s the ‘best’ version? Furthermore, once you achieve the best version of yourself, what happens next? Do you just stay in that version forever?
It’s funny how we wake up one morning and suddenly find ourselves in places and situations that do not fulfill us. Life has somehow become mechanical. Each day we go through the motions of doing what we need to do; slowly losing sight of our YOUnique selves. We get tired and we lose hope; consequently, we feel stuck. Sound familiar?
As a result, we become lonely, upset, angry, depressed and resentful. Unhealthy habits such as smoking, drinking and eating begin to emerge.
If we are fortunate, our thoughts turn to how we can live a better life. We think about how we can become better people and we start asking ourselves how we can ‘re-invent’ our lives.
Likely, those very thoughts are what prompted you to question how you can become the best version of yourself.
I wonder. What expectations do you have for ‘the best version of yourself’? Can it be that your most authentic version, your most YOUnique version, is your best version? If you live your life in a way that honors your most authentic, YOUnique self, wouldn’t that be the ‘best version of yourself’?
Society, family and friends have all sorts of advice. At every turn we are being told what the ‘best version’ can be, should be, would be … if only we say or do ‘x’ and ‘y’.
What do ‘they’ know anyway? Only you know what the best version of yourself looks like.
It’s time to focus on you.
Reacquaint yourself with yourself. Acknowledge who you know you are meant to be. Accept what you know you are meant to do. Allow what you know fulfills you.
1. Find Your Spark
You have a spark. A fire. Some call it your inner light. Others call it your spirit. You can call it whatever you want; just as long as you can acknowledge its existence. The magical thing that makes us who we are. We can feel it. No words need to define it.
I am always amazed that out of all the people on this earth, in all the regions around the globe, in all the different cultures….. that unequivocally, no two people are exactly alike! Even identical twins have differences. No two beings exactly the same. Ever. It fascinates me; a miracle I believe. Mind-blowing.
If you are to discover the best version of yourself, you should start by connecting with yourself. A good starting point is to identify your inner light; that which defines the YOUnique person you are.
Look inside, see and acknowledge your YOUnique inner light.
Honor you, love you, understand you.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If, for any crazy poppycock reason, you are thinking that your inner light is no good or damaged – YOU ARE WRONG. Completely wrong.
Go back and look at it. Take time for introspection. Be aware that experiences, situations, actions and decisions are not your inner light. They are things that have happened, or things you have done, but they are not your inner light. Your light is always there. You can always go back and find it so you can help it glow as bright as can be.
~ There is a sh*t-ton of awesomeness within you ~
Try this amazing meditation: ‘Let Your Inner Light Shine’; created by Great Meditation, located on YouTube.
2. Fuel your fire
If you are going to be the best version of yourself, you need to acknowledge the best of your best.
- Make a list of all the things that come naturally to you. Things that you can do very easily, mindlessly. Include what you are drawn to. Be mindful of your inner light; ensuring that what goes on this list is truthful and authentic. Even if it’s something you don’t really want on the list. If it’s natural to you, embodied within your spark, it should be acknowledged and added to your list.
- Expand the list. Add all of the things you know are different/special about you. Things that set you aside from everyone else. Think about the ways in which you show up in the world that are YOUnique to you. Do not be shy, do not hold back. This is important. Be honest and genuine with yourself. Do not label anything as good or bad. Most importantly, don’t include what you ‘want’. Include what you are and what is genuine.
- Looking at your list, circle the things that you know speak the most to your heart and what you know are the truest reflection of you. Circle the things that you know you are meant to do.
What you have circled are the things that fuel your fire. They are the things that are closest to your spark.
On your journey of self-discovery, what fuels you most, what ignites your spark, will define the ‘best version of yourself’.
Igniting Your Spark
This is pretty intense. Try not to be overwhelmed with thoughts of how you will go about using your fuel to become the best version of yourself.
Start small. Looking at what you have circled, decide where you want to begin. Pick that one thing you really want to start working through.
Now, come up with 2 or 3 actions you can take to begin a deeper exploration into that area. The goal is to fully explore what you have identified in a way that you never have before; and see where it takes you!
Here is an example:
Perhaps you have always had a penchant for drawing. Growing up, you always excelled in art class. ‘Doodling’ is something you always do, and people are always commenting on how well you draw.
You know this is something special to you. Deep down, you know you have a gift. It brings you much peace and has always been itching to come out. It was definitely included on your list of things that come naturally.
Yet, despite this knowledge, you have never pursued drawing. Although you’ve had the urge, you just figured ‘someday’ you would do something. Perhaps you even told yourself you were mistaken (never do that; your inner spark is always right).
Now would be the time to challenge your abilities. Make a conscious decision to draw. Close your eyes and allow what is inside of you to emerge. Allow it to come innocently and freely. A fully YOUnique expression. Poor it out and do not be afraid of where it might lead you.
~ be open to what you know is true; be brave enough to follow through ~
3. Release What Does Not Serve You
This, in some ways, can be very easy. In other ways, it can be extremely hard.
There are people in our lives that we love dearly; but who pull us back, tear us down and cause irreparable harm. If you are to be the best version of yourself, you will need to decide how to handle these people. The answer will be so different for each of us, but one thing must prevail – and that is YOU. Assess Relationships
Through our journeys of life, many of us have experienced harmful things. We all have scars. Physical, emotional, or maybe both. As you move forward to be the best version of yourself, it is very important to forgive yourself and to forgive others. Decide for yourself that you consciously release that which is holding you back and not serving you.
Other things you may find easier to release. Like all the physical objects you have accumulated.
Take time to look at your surroundings. Go through closets, drawers, garages and basements. Think about what you have accumulated. If you haven’t used something in the past year, do you feel you still need it? After that length of time, does the object serve you in any way? If not, consider donating it. The process of minimizing physical clutter can help unclutter your mind. Mentally and symbolically leaving you with a feeling of openness as you move forward on your journey of self-discovery.
4. Career Assessment
What do you do for a living? How many hours a week do you spend doing it? Do you love it? Does it fulfill you? Does it serve you well? Are you spending 40+ hours a week doing something that leaves you feeling completely and utterly exhausted, unfulfilled and sad? Do you feel there is no purpose in what you do?
If your answers are yes, I love what I do. I am so fulfilled and satisfied. Yes, I may be tired, but I know I am serving a purpose and I would never want to change my career. I say bravo to you! You have chosen well, you have honored yourself and I thank you for the difference you are making in the world.
If your answers are no, I don’t feel like I’m contributing anything meaningful to the world. I’m not fulfilled, I have no purpose in my work and frankly, I don’t even know why I am doing what I do….. perhaps you need to make a change.
Career shifting is a serious decision that should not be taken lightly. If this is a path you feel is best for your journey in becoming the best version of yourself, then I recommend you pursue professional advice on how to best accomplish such a transition.
When deciding the direction to proceed, be sure you are remaining true to yourself and fueling your spark.
Stay true to yourself ~ Be honest and authentic
5. Be Genuine
Have you ever been in a room and all of a sudden you ‘feel’ something? Literally the air starts to tingle. Without turning around or looking at anything else, you just know something has changed. Most commonly referred to as the ‘energy in the room’ has shifted.
That feeling, when you know something has changed, is exactly what can be felt when something or someone is not genuine. You might not be able to put your finger on it, but you just know something is not right. You feel it and it’s not the best feeling; or the right feeling.
When you are being true to yourself, when you are being genuine, you epitomize what it means to be the best version of yourself.
Do not be something that you are not, for the benefit of someone else. Stand firm for what you believe in.
Do not let others persuade you into doing or believing something that is not a genuine truth to you.
6. Have Realistic Expectations
By the time you reach this step, I do hope you are feeling energized, excited and inspired by your magnificent self! There are so many dimensions to you. So many beautiful, wonderful things you can do and become.
As you move forward, be mindful of how many hours there are in a day, how many days in a week, how many weeks in a year. Don’t try to conquer everything in one day! After all, that is why it’s called a journey of self-discovery and not a destination.
Allow yourself time to experience everything your journey has to offer. Don’t be in a rush to achieve the best version of yourself. If you move too fast, you might miss a step, stumble, have a set-back and become discouraged.
Take your time and savor every moment; for that is what life is all about.
To quote from “The Dash”; a poem by Linda Ellis:
“… what matters is how we live and love, and how we spend our dash …”
7. Catch The Curve Ball
Life can throw fantastic curve balls. Do not be afraid to catch them!
Imagine this. Your toolin’ along on your journey of self-discovery. Feeling really good about yourself and all of a sudden, a curve ball is hurtling towards you!
This curve ball comes out of nowhere. It comes in the form of an epiphany. You have an amazing realization of something you need to do. Something that has absolutely nothing to do with where you are on your journey. It’s as far off as another planet. It is not related at all to what you are working on for the best version of yourself.
So of course, you wish to dismiss this curve ball. You wish to watch it as it flies by. Following this epiphany will mean going into a strange and unknown place. Who the heck wants to go there? Besides, things seem to be going very well, right?
WRONG! Do not watch the ball fly by! Catch it! You definitely, absolutely, want to catch the curve ball!
If you experience something SO strong; something you know down to your core is calling you; something you absolutely know you must do…. YOU MUST DO IT!!!!
~ Catch the curve ball ~
As I sit here writing this blog, I hold the curve ball I caught, and I’m keeping it. I’m not giving it back. It scared the pants off of me….. but it was the best ball I ever caught and I will never, for one second, regret it. I wish the same for you. So please, catch the curve ball.
8. Take New Roads
Have you ever signed up for something and later thought to yourself…. what the heck am I doing? Wondering to yourself what you were thinking?
Even if you have no idea why you are following a certain road, follow it anyway. Smile, chalk it up to an adventure, and have at it. Who knows why you turned that direction to begin with. Something made you do it. Maybe it will be a dead-end; but maybe it won’t.
Just take it and see where it goes. Who knows. Maybe at the end of that road you will find the best version of yourself!
9. Failure Is Success
Say what? (lol) That’s right, you read it correctly, failure is success.
In failing you have learned what does not work.
To be the best version of yourself, you must absolutely be willing to fail. And when you do, be grateful that you did. If something is not meant to be, the sooner you learn that, the better.
Life is too short. Accept the failure, understand what it is that caused the failure. Decide if the failure is a minor lesson on your course, or if it is so major that it means you need to change direction.
~ Do not beat yourself up for failing. Praise yourself for trying. ~
10. Schedule Checkpoints
As you move forward on this wonderful adventure of self-discovery, remember to schedule checkpoints. These should occur regularly.
It’s so easy to fall into the monotony of a mindless day to day routine. Slipping easily into the motions of everyday life. Losing yourself all over again. Finding yourself once again in the very place that led you to search out this article.
At an absolute minimum, you must find 10-15 minutes each day to allow yourself to go into your mind. Schedule a daily check-in.
Put yourself on your calendar if you need to. Tell your family you need some alone time. Go for a walk, write in a journal or meditate. Take deliberate time to be with yourself. Assess your journey and make changes, as needed. Schedule more time with yourself when necessary; especially if you start to feel like you are going astray.
You owe this to yourself. Who else is going to keep you on track for the best version of yourself?
This article was about 10 Soul-Searching Steps to achieve the best version of yourself. I hope you have found the information to be insightful and helpful for your journey of self-discovery.
Peace and Love,
Lorraine
