Of course you want to give thoughtful gifts.
Something the recipient will love and cherish forever.
You spend hours thinking and searching. You select the perfect gift. Lovingly, you wrap the package. It looks beautiful. The moment comes and you present the perfect, mindful gift.
Then ‘it’ happens.
The unchanged face. No smile, no gasping in awe. An unreadable expression.
Suddenly, you start to feel your heart sink as you realize this thoughtful gift, this mindful gift, was a total, complete, epic fail.
Totally the worst feeling. Especially when you spent all that time trying to be thoughtful and mindful!
What went wrong?
How do all those other ‘people’ always find the perfect gift?
5 Rules of Finding the Most Thoughtful Gifts
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Rule #1: It’s not about you
A thoughtful gift has nothing to do with you. Your tastes, preferences and desires have no business being involved in a thoughtful gift for someone else.
A truly thoughtful gift has everything to do with the recipient.
It must be something they will see as special and meaningful. Something that resonates within them, not you.
Something so special that once opened, transforms their face into an expression of gratitude, conveying the warm sweet glow it makes them feel. Their heart swells with emotion and instinctively they know you really ‘see’ them as their YOUnique self.
A gift undeniably about them. All about them.
Rule #2: ‘See’ Your Recipient
If you are going to evoke the heart swell reaction, you must ‘see’ the person to know the trigger.
- Close your eyes.
- Visualize the person.
- Look into their eyes, appreciate their smile. ‘Feel’ their presence and personality.
- Take notice of their postures, their stances, how they move.
- Observe their style. The way they wear their hair. Do they use headbands, berets, hair ties? Are they wearing a hat? What style hat? What about their shirts? Do they wear t-shirts, flannels, sweaters, blouses? How about jackets and accessories? Do they wear jewelry?
- Scan for pocketbooks, suspenders, belts, cross-body bags, backpacks, phone clips, glasses.
- Before you open your eyes, complete one more scan of the person.
- Open your eyes.
This person is hot on your mind. You are sitting tightly with them right now. Mull over your thougths. What stood out the most? Are there any thoughtful gifts that come to mind?
For example: The person I visualized is always smiling. He’s always relaxed and easy going; never seems to be stressed or angry. He tends to wear baseball hats of his favorite sports teams. Long sleeve t-shirts are definitely his favorite. Either solid color or logos of his favorite sports teams. Definitely does not wear any jewelry and his shirts are always out so belts and suspenders are not a hot item. He doesn’t use a phone clip, but he definitely holds his phone a lot.
I have a few thoughts. A new baseball hat, long sleeve t-shirts or maybe a new case for his phone.
Aha! This is a great start to finding thoughtful gifts for this person!
Hopefully you have some great ideas for your person – but don’t run to the store just yet. All you have so far is a gift.
Let’s make it a thoughtful, mindful gift.
Rule #3: Fact Finding
What interests this person?
- Are they an avid reader?
- Do they play a particular sport(s) or instrument(s)?
- Are they a devoted fan of a specific team?
- Where do they go? Museums, Art Galleries, Breweries, Wineries, Movies, Plays, Restaurants, Ball Games, Drum Circles, concerts.
- Do they have a favorite pastime? Camping, Hiking, Biking, Swimming, Boating, Running, Yoga, Model Building, Puzzles, Gardening, Golfing.
- Is there a handicraft they are particularly fond of? Woodworking, Painting, Crochet/knitting, Pottery, Leatherwork, Macrame.
Mindful gifts are full of mind work.
Imagine your gift recipient is an avid reader who also frequents art galleries. Put them together: a book about art!
Perhaps you have an avid hiker that enjoys a cold brewski after each hike. Research hiking paths near breweries. Print out the information, roll up the pages, tie a bow around them, pop them into a nice pint glass with a gift certificate to one or two of the breweries!
For my example, I now have some new ideas. The person I am thinking of is a dedicated fan of specific baseball, football and hockey teams. He is also an avid golfer. I am wondering if a he has a baseball hat that has something to do with golf, or maybe a team logo case for his i-Phone.
Things are moving along, but we have only achieved a mediocre gift. Our goal is a thoughtful gift, so let’s continue on.
Rule #4: Making the Magic
It’s time to gather up your intel and decide what your potential gifts are. Try to identify at least 2 things.
Once you have them, it’s time for the magic to happen.
The magic sprinkle that takes your gift from ok, it’s nice, I like it, to:
Holy Moly this is amazing!
How did you come up with this?
Thank You SO MUCH! This was so thoughtful of you!
The magic lies in the YOUnique flair of the person you are buying for.
Let’s go back to imaging that you have paired the avid reader and love of art together. You have decided to buy a book about art. What would make that better?
Buying a book about the history of their favorite art era or a book about their favorite artist.
How about our hiker example? How could we make that better? What if you could rule out hikes they have already been on and find one they have never done?
For my gift, I might want to snoop through his stack of hats and see what team is missing from his collection. As an alternative, I need to figure out if he would even like a phone case with a team logo; and if he would, what team logo would be the best?
Be Stealthy. Very, very stealthy.
This is where we have the most fun. We must be very stealthy. Having come this far we don’t want to give anything away, but we need some intel.
If you can respectively snoop, without being creepy or breaking any laws, do so. Another option is to have a conversation or interaction to glean some information.
For example: I can pretend I’m looking for a new case for my phone, and start showing him a couple of ones I like. Casually I can stumble upon a case of his favorite team. Of course I will offhandedly say hey, check this out! It’s your favorite team! If he doesn’t have a good reaction, I can cross it off the list. If the reaction is good, I can creatively ask one or two additional questions to really hone in on what team I want to go with.
For our avid reader and art enthusiast, perhaps I mention that someone from work is also an art enthusiast who loves ‘x’ artist. What do you think of their work? Take the conversation from there, cleverly asking questions that get you what you need to know.
Same goes for our hiker example. Maybe you can say another friend mentioned the hike you found that you think is the perfect gift. See what they have to say about it. If they have done the hike, most likely they will tell you. If they haven’t, you know you’ve got a keeper for your thoughtful gift!
Caution:
Be careful not to oversell what you are casually discussing. It would stink if they went and bought it themselves! You also do not want to raise any suspicion. If necessary, ask a series of questions over the course of a few days.
Rule # 5: It’s Not About The Money
Thoughtful gifts are priceless.
My mom loved gardening. My sister, sister-in-law and I all have beautiful plants in our gardens that mom gave us as ‘splits’ from the beautiful plants in her garden. The first mother’s day after mom passed away I gave my sister and sister-in-law angels for their gardens. The angels have a metal frame. The dress is (was) blue, which was mom’s favorite color. Under the angel’s dress is a small solar panel, so the angel lights up at night. It’s been a few years and my angel is a little faded, but I see her and smile. Both my sister and sister-in-law have theirs lovingly displayed amongst mom’s plants in their gardens.
As another example, a friend and I were walking on the beach one day. It so happened that we both found rocks that were shaped like hearts. As our walk continued, we found a few more.
A few years later, I ran into my friend’s mom, who was telling me that my friend was going through a rough patch. I mailed her a little gift. It was a small heart rock that meant more to her than a million dollars. All it cost me was the price of postage. What it gave her was love, support and the knowledge that someone cared about her.
It truly is the thought that counts.
Please excuse me……
I hope this article about Thoughtful Gifts ~ Mindful Gifts has helped you to find the perfect thoughtful gifts for all your loved ones.
If you’ll excuse me, I have a phone case to buy…..
Peace & Love,
Lorraine
